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A few years ago I visited Arthur - a friend of mine. His wife Queenie led me in through a heady waft of fried bacon tomatoes sausages eggs fried bread and best butter on fresh stone-ground whole-meal plus strong hot orange-tips tea. By chance some of his relations were down from the north on a quick visit.
The atmosphere in the living-dining room was cozy and relaxed because of the decor and the warm light from the standard lamps. Having met the relatives once before I was much at home and glad to be there. George's smiling sisters Judith Lilly Polly Big-Beatty and his niece Anna were sat comfortably round the dining table. The four were senior nurses either Sisters or Matrons.
Judith wore her hair like Dr Johnson and was the sort to make even a vicar wash his feet before he set foot in her house. Lilly had red hair and gray eyes. She smoked 'Craven A' cigarettes. Polly had dancing eyes and saw the funny side in everything. She liked a bag of hard pears and a Raymond Chandler paperback in the bath. Big Beatty was big and acted big. Young-Betty's husband had died six months before down the coalmine so she still had little to say save to cut your legs off. They were all surprised and pleased to see me.
I was given a good kissing and these hearty women called and laughed back and forth with lit up faces while they got me organized with plates and cutlery steaming hot bacon and eggs and fried potatoes.
After some chatter Judith frowned and began to look concerned. She stared round for the clock feeling it was time to fidget about the last bus home and began to stand up. 'Come along Girls!' Judy yelled.
Picking up on this Arthur's eyes became calculating slits. A rush of urgency went through his body and he rose like a pheasant and chunted: 'it won't take but a minute to get me color slides out Our Judy. I've already written the words!' Arthur pushed Judith back in her chair and took pasteboard three-d spectacles from nowhere and thrust them at various angles on each of the noses. The girls' shifted their weight from buttock to buttock and an eyes-down silence sank upon them. They looked straight ahead and their breasts heaved in one communal slow intake of breath. Arthur was already dragging the screen box in from the Hall and hauled it onto a chair. The lid was opened and bits of framework were unhinged and the screen wedged between its stays in a rather lopsided fashion. The screen box framing and screen on its chair was pushed hard against the wall to stop the lot falling over.
'You'll love this Our Judy.' Said Arthur hopping about. The sisters were agape with their necks tense and turned towards Arthur's Queenie as if to a judge of appeal. Queenie merely gazed back with a silent smile.
The slide projector was conjured up and plunked down on a pink light-alloy tea trolley pushed to center stage. This leant first this way then that because it was not rigid. white cloud cigarettes